It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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