No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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