omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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