the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize