I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
