She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
