Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
