Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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