Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
one might say we're banned from that church
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
