Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
