She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
