Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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