2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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