Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
