i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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