so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
