windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
operation harelip BJ is a go
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
