ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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