It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
