my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
