That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
