right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
