She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
