wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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