barbara walters just said penis...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
