I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
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Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
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I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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