He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
