Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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