you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
