dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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