there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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