so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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