i already hear my dad disowning me
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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