so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
