So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Found the puke drawer
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
