ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
