I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I looked at my own cervix.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
