HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize