i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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