some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
