why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
