Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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