I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
