I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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