she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
