Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
