Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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