so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We are all done wearing pants today
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize