Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize