I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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