I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
