What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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