I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
