Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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