oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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