she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
