Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
