FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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