imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
