i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
