I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
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